It's been too long!

Too long - I looked at my last post and wow it was too long ago to even think about trying to catch up.. however you look at my draft blogs I tried to write you would see I at least started - just didn't finish!  So where are we now... 6 weeks into the twins 2nd grade year!!! 2nd grade - crap when did that happen - it was just yesterday I was taking them to daycare!  Oh well I guess I need to take my own advice and suck it up - they grow up and that they do so quickly. So this blog is just going to be a run down on who they are and what they are up to...

Trayce - my sweet boy still.  He is the most sincere, loving, thoughtful little boy I have ever meet.  Ever since he was a baby he would look at you and make you feel like you were the only one around - well he still does that, his hugs have gotten tighter and his love has gotten grander!  When other parents, teachers, etc talk about Trayce they always say he is such a sweet kid, it makes me feel good, b/c I feel like I am doing my job, I am trying to raise a good man one day and good men are sweet - so I am hoping this means we are on the right track.  He is extremely hard on himself and his biggest critic.  He has this deep desire to be the best at everything and when that doesn't happen he shuts down and beats himself up.  I wish I could say I wonder where he gets it from, but he does get that honestly.  Eric and I are both driven people and when we don't succeed (in our eyes) we seem to take it a little harder then most.  We got his first report card for 2nd grade and it was all A's and 2 B's (which 88 and 86 are pretty dang close to an A), but in his mind it isn't good enough unless there is all A's! Well tears filled his eyes and you could see disappointment all over his sweet face - it really did break my heart to watch it unfold - those are times when I really wish I could shake him and tell him to not be like me!  He snapped out of it pretty quick bc of course he didn't want anyone to see him cry, but how I wish he could be as proud of him as we are!  But, all in all he is doing great - shot his first hog this year with his Daddy and can't wait to sit in his own deer stand this year.  Got his first hunting license and went dove hunting several times already!  He even told us he may not play basketball this year b/c it interferes with duck hunting too much!  For that y'all he is is Fathers Son!!!

Paige - my little miss priss!  She is all girl but with a tom boy side starting to set in.  More and more each day she is outside throwing the football with Trayce, shooting her bb gun and trying to kill squirrels with it!  But, she in all of that she has a bow in her hair and lip gloss on!  In my eyes perfect!  The funny thing with Paige is she doesn't want to grow up - she tells me all the time she wants to stay little and never get big, she likes being the baby of the house.  Hopefully this won't bite up in the you know what later - but right now I do like the fact she doesn't want to big!  She is very versatile - one day she is wanting cute boutique clothes and the ruffles and big bows then the next she wants her nike shorts and a t-shirt (however there is still a bow - just not a huge frilly one!).  She is an athlete in her own right - her tumbling skills have surpassed my wildest expectations!  I was happy with one back hand spring - nope she is now wanting to see how many she can do in a row!  She is working on getting her back tuck down (which that scares the begeezies out of me!).  She makes it look so easy!  She is also in dance and loving it hip hop of course - she has the moves - her Daddy says he got it from her, but anyone who knows Eric knows she def got the better part of his dance moves!  Her grades are all A's - she is struggling in math a little, to the point where she is having a little anxiety (again she gets that honestly - notice the pattern my kids get my bad traits!).  For her to struggle with something is new territory, but I will say she is not a quitter, she will work and work at it till she knows it - which that I am so proud.  When she saw her report card - she said it quietly to me that she made all A's - she didn't want to hurt her brother bc she knew how badly he wanted all A's. I hope their love and sweetness stays like this forever!


Here are some pics of my loves... I will try to not wait so long next time to blog - since the whole purpose of this blog was to have something written down for the kids to look back at when they are older!  So I apologize now for letting life get in the way - but at least we are living life!!!

Keep smiling and keep praying - I know I will!

Hustle and Bustle

It's been awhile since I sat down and took the time to put fingers to keyboard (I really wanted to say pen to paper).  I feel like the past year has been a blur.  We are in the last 6 weeks of the twins 1st grade~! How in the crap did that happen!!!! 

They have lost teeth, did things they couldn't do a year ago, turned 7, didn't want a big combined birthday party, they are growing up!!!!  I hate it - I see people with 3 and 4 year olds and I think to myself I wish my babies were still that small - not that I haven't enjoyed these years, b/c I have, but I really do feel I haven't enjoyed it as much as I should have!  I was too worried about manners, being kind, playing fair, teaching compassion, love, and how to be "the" good kids!  Yes, I did let them play in the mud, take huge bubble baths, go places, be kids - but I think I didn't enjoy those little things like I should have.  I hope it isn't too late!

I worry that as a Mom they are not going to think I was fun, played enough, laughed until we cried, played in the rain, dance crazy - yes we have done all those things, but did I do it enough.  I think I feel sometimes as Moms we get so caught up in the everyday hustle and bustle we forget to stop and enjoy the small things.  I beat myself up for being too hard on them, I should have said it differently, I shouldn't have yelled, I have to remember they are only kids, I shouldn't have compared them to each other!  Things I do in the moment and then instantly feel bad for - usually I say I am sorry, but there are times I don't.  I need to reroute my focus!

Lent just ended two weeks ago. I didn't give up anything, but I vowed I was going to take more time for prayer, which I did and it felt so good.  However, there were days I slipped and didn't pray like I should have, I didn't give the Lord my full attention - I let the hustle and bustle of everyday life get in the way - the same as I do with my kids.  I let the smallest but most important things get in the way of what the big picture is about.  So I am vowing today, to not allow the hustle and bustle of life get in the way of 1.) my prayer time with my Lord and 2.) to allow me to stop and enjoy these years with my kids - b/c if the rest of their childhood is anything like this past year - it is going to fly by and in 10 years I will be blogging about them leaving for college and how I missed so much!  I refuse to let that happen! 

So with all that said - whomever reads this blog, if you are a Mom and are letting the hustle and bustle of life get in your way of your prayer time and your Mommy moments - please stop what you are doing and pray and the second you get a chance grab your kids and tell them you love them and go and have fun with your kids b/c in a blur they are grown!!!

Keep smiling and keep praying... I know I am

My Love Always...

Tonight (or morning really - Paige had a nightmare, so I am wide awake) I am blogging about my husband - I know I said I would do this blog so my kids can look back on this one day and see how much I really did love them and I wasn't just always telling them to brush their teeth, eat all their vegetables etc... But, I think they also need to know how much their Daddy means to me.  As the kids are getting older they are realizing Mommy and Daddy's don't stay together forever.  I sheltered them as long as I could about the word "divorce" but it's apart of life, so of course we had to explain it (better hearing it from us then other people).  They question me every so often "Mom you and Dad aren't going to break up right.." of course I assure them all the time that when we decided to get married breaking up was not an option.  Trayce even told me "Mom I never want another Mommy :)"  I assured him that would NEVER happen.  Trayce is my thinker - he asked me one afternoon on our way to basketball - "Mom does God live in your brain too?  I told him God is with all the time in your heart and mind - that he is everywhere.  I asked him why.. he says well I just want to know will God just tell my brain who I am to marry b/c you said you just know (you know like when you and daddy meet) and that I have to pray about it"  After I composed myself and thought how can a 6 year old little boy think this deeply, I told him as long as he prays about it God will take care of the rest!  So in light of them learning about this - I think it will be good to know that their Mommy and Daddy really love each other and know how much their Daddy means to me.

I always knew Eric was the one for me - from the first date we had when I was only 17, I just knew he was the one.  I prayed as a teenager God would bring someone in my life that would love me unconditionally and love me for me - not someone they wanted me to be.  Eric was that one.  Now, I am not saying that we did not put each other through pure hell sometimes, but in the end all the heartache we endured was worth it - I really wouldn't change one thing about our past!  It made our love stronger and more deserving due to all the heartache.

In the past year we have become ALOT more busy in life.  I knew the days were gonna come when we would feel like we were passing each other in the hallway and those days are here.  But, even though we may not have our usual front porch talks as often or get our date nights like we want - I do still know our love is strong and we will conquer this crazy life we have.

Today he called me and asked me to play hooky so we could go sand bass fishing - of course I couldn't b/c of work, but the fact he asked me gave me butterflies.  Even though I couldn't go, at least he still asked and wanted me to be the one to spend an afternoon on the riverbank catching sand bass instead of one of his buddies!  I don't tell him as often as I should - but thank you honey for still being my saving grace and for still asking me to be your fishing partner and I promise I always will be. SO here is to many more crazy days with our beautiful kids and here's to us still asking each other to spend time together - my promise to you is I will never stop asking as long as you don't either!  I Love You Eric Christopher~!



As Always...Keep Smiling and Keep Praying... I know I am!!!!