I remember the twins first year like it was yesterday. The constant attention, the lack of sleep, the endless diapers and formula bills. I also remember double the smiles, laughter, hugs, and love. They keep me and Eric on our toes for sure. I remember one afternoon like it was yesterday - it was just one of those days in our house. Eric was out of town and it was just me and the kids. They were not having a good moment in their day. Usually they took turns crying - it's like they knew they would get more attention if they cried one at a time - they were good babies like that! However this moment they were both having a full blown meltdown - nothing I could do worked, changed diapers, rocked, bounced, rubbed bellies, gave bottle, held - NOTHING - they were just not happy at that moment! All I could do was hold them both; one in each arm and cry with them! We did this for almost an hour until all three of us were exhausted from crying. I think we all feel asleep holding onto each other and when we all woke up we were in a different moment - laughter and happiness.
Their first birthday came and Eric and I looked at each other and said "we made it - we kept them alive a whole year!" That is truly how we felt - we were just living to keep them alive. Not teaching them anything really - just feeding their needs. The next couple of years were stressful, fun, challenging, but who knew having two wasn't that hard - at least that is what I told myself! I wouldn't change one hard day for anything in the world - bc those babies brought so much life and love into our marriage and our lives I will forever be grateful to them.
I am now looking at them and they are about to be 9 in two months!!! How in the world did that happen. It hit me last night as I put them to bed in their gueen size beds, no superhero or princess sheets and no rocking them to sleep, just kissing them, reading a story and tucking them in - they are growing up right before my eyes. I went from feeding their needs to now trying to teach them things. Are we really teaching them what they need to know and are we still feeding their needs. I constantly think are we enough? Are we teaching them what they need to know to make it through their day? Am I being the Mom I always said I would be? Am I a good example for them? The list of questions of doubt, fear and hope could go on and on. But, when I see them figure something out, be kind, show confidence, and love God I know we are doing something right. Trayce amazes me what he is little young mind thinks - he asked me last night when I was tucking him into bed - "Mom do you believe in God" I replied "yes" - he asked me "Why" I said well for the same reasons I hope you do - which is I believe he died on the cross for me to live and continue to share his love. I asked Trayce "Do you believe?" He replies "Yes he is my Lord and Savior, I was baptized with his love and I know He lives in my heart" He then continues to tell me that there are people in the world that do not believe and those are the ones the devil is trying to make us believe, but he knows that Jesus would not like that so he will just continue to pray for those people even though he doesn't know them. I was absolutely blown away - how this little boy has it really all figured out and he doesn't even know it! Times like this I know God is working our family and guiding us and I couldn't be more proud of my son in that one moment then I ever have.
I I know I make a lot of mistakes and I don't always say the right thing at that right moment, react in the right way and I probably don't apologize to them as much as I should. But, I do know we learn each day from each other on how to be better human beings - they are teaching me just as much as I am teaching them.
Keep smiling and keep praying - I know I will (even for the ones I don't know - just like my son taught me)
Proverb 22:6 "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."
Mark 10: 13-16 "People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them."
Deuteronomy 6:7 "Impress
them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you
walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."
