Husbands/Dads

There are so many times that I harp on what my husband doesn't do that I don't see what he DOES do!

In the beginning of our journey I thought about this perfect little family we would have, you know the picture: the one with the dad playing catch (in plaid shorts with a crisp clean polo and the Mom in her perfect dress placing the perfect picnic (you know with all home grown veggies and fruit with fresh squeezed lemonade) & smiling from ear to ear. That perfect "family" picture that all the parenting magazines portray! Little did I know that was NOT reality. In the first year with the twins we just took each day as a day to celebrate another day we all survived! I can honestly say that the first year was by far the hardest year I have ever had, but in the same sentence the most rewarding! Eric and I learned real quick it was NOT all about us and what we expected in life. The every 3 hour feedings the same routine day after day was hard but it paid off. Our kids were sleeping through the night by 2 months, they were growing, developing quicker then expected. We were doing if right... Of course I felt Eric wasn't doing all that he should do as a Dad, but what did I know right???  Sitting back and looking at it now, I did have it all (and still do): and it was not made up or staged! So many things have lead up to Eric and I's journey. And the kids are just a blessing in it all. He has provided for us financially and spiritually. For awhile I couldn't see it, but now I do. He is a good husband to me. I never go a day not knowing he loves and adores me. But more than that our kids don't go a day without knowing how much he loves them. This weekend he took Trayce camping with the guys. He had the time of his life (actually both of them did). Eric is making memories with Trayce that can never be forgotten. I am so blessed that my son has a Dad that wants to share those things. He is teaching him far more than just how to set up a tent, make a jig, or burn an oil lantern but he is teaching him how to be a good Man and one day a good Daddy!  I am so blessed for the man God sent me and I thank him all the time for when he made Eric and I he made us for each other.  Because I am really not sure who else could have put up with the two of us - couldn't get too mushy!

Until next time.... keep praying and keep smiling!

Miles Away....

I got my hopes up and I know better than to do that!  Eric and and Trayce are going on a camping trip with the boys this weekend - they leave tomorrow and come home Sunday.  So my wheels got to spinning on what Paige and I could get ourselves into.  I looked up flight prices to South Carolina - to surprise my parents. Since it is spring break flights were out of this world!  So that was out - I mentioned it to my Dad in passing well him and Vicki jumped all over it - however with the time frame we just couldn't get the buddy passes in time.  I know it sounds petty to be upset in the grand scheme of things (I am just blessed to have them as my parents and have the relationship with them that I do and the fact that they tried to help get us tickets) - but I am. I guess more disappointed really.  I only get to see them once a year and it is so hard only getting to talk via text, over the phone and through email.  I can't understand how people who can live a few miles from their parents and never see them - we live miles and miles away from each other and I would give anything to get in the car and only have to drive a few miles to see my parents!  But - not getting to see my Dad when I want to just plain hurts and sucks; I always have been and probably always will be a Daddy's girl - I have been since I was a little girl. He and I have grown up together - he was so young when my Mom and him had me and we both had to go through a rocky journey with one another - but in the end it played out perfectly.  God knew his plan for us and the path was hard, but who said anything you want in life is easy!  As always God knew what he was doing - my Dad and I's relationship is stronger than it could ever be and I am so blessed for that - I would do it all over again to be right where we are now.  Vicki is probably the best Step Mom (I wish there was a better word - sounds like we shouldn't be close) I could have every dreamed of.  She has been and is my guiding light in my faith.  She has helped steer my journey as a woman, a mom, a wife and as a christian - not having her close just breaks my heart!  She tells me all the time how lucky she is to have me, but in all reality I am the one who is really lucky!  Sorry this post isn't too uplifting or feel good, but today I just want to say I miss my parents!!!!

Until next time.....

Smile

On my way in this morning I was listening to a Christian radio station on Sirus - The Message.  I heard a song by Steven Curtis Chapman.  I don't know the name of the song - but it hit home.  I am always wondering how I am living up as a Christian and is what I do enough, worth anything, etc.  This song talked about no matter what you do as long as you make the man upstairs smile you are doing good. 

I thought about that on my drive in this morning.. is all the things in my life making Him smile.

1) I can really see that I may only be a "Assistant to the Dean" at my job - but as long as I do my work with grace and show others around me like what it is like to be a good Christian through my actions I know He is smiling down at me.
2) I may be the Mom who can't make it to everything b/c I work, but as long as my kids know that I am proud of them and teach them that it is OKAY to not be at every function - that does not mean I love them any less. I prove to them every night at bedtime with a prayer that I love them unconditionally.  I know they are on loan to me from Him and I will do the best I can to teach them about His word,love and sacrifice and for that I know He is smiling down on me.
3) I may be the wife who doesn't cook every night - but my husband knows that I love him unconditionally and walk everyday with him in our marriage and in our Faith.  Sometimes he needs me to follow and sometimes he needs to follow me - but in those moments when we are helping and praying for each other is when I know HE is smiling at me.
4)  I may not be the first person to remember a family members bday but my family knows I love them - I tell them all the time but most importantly I pray for them and I know this makes Him Smile!
5)  I may lose my temper and yell when I should hold my tongue (especially to my kids) and I know at those times He is not happy - but I know when I show the kids that saying "I am sorry" and apologizing for my actions and explaining that is NOT how you handle things and teaching them to say I am sorry and ask for forgiveness makes Him happy.

I know I could keep going on with this list - but I am not sure I would have anyone who would want to read that much - but that is b.c I am human and that is how God made me.  But, most importantly He made me to make mistakes, to learn from them and to always turn to Him.  So I know no matter what I may think I only do - as long as I keep Him first and take each day to make Him smile then I am doing okay.  I feel that my job as a Mom is not only to teach them manners, how to read, share, clean up etc - but it is to teach them the word of our Lord.  It is hard for my kids to sit in church for an hour and try to understand the mass - but eventually they will and they will learn to enjoy it as I have.  I love telling them they don't have to go to church they "GET" to go to church - now they just laugh when they start whining b/c they beat me to the saying - "yes Mom we know we "GET" to go" at those moments I know my Lord is smiling down on me.

Until Next Time.....

When I sit back and think about this time last year - the Schwab Family were in for a long road of the unknown. He went to his permanent home with our Lord where he was finally out of pain.  Eric's Dad - Buzzy was such an amazing man - he was loved by all of us especially his grandchildren. Trayce always loved to talk to him on the phone and tell him about his day, Paige would just love to get him laughing at her with her giggles. I am so blessed my kids got to know their Poppy! I worry about Eric he took his Dads passing pretty hard (as did his Mom and sisters), but he never had a chance to mourn, he was being the Man of the family and making sure everyone else was taken care of. And I know he wouldn't have it any other way.  I got a little sad this morning when I woke up thinking about Buzzy and just missing him and his stories.  But, I know he is so much better and having a grand ole' time with his parents and  cousins.  I am sure he is watching each time the kids catch a fish and remember him.  Trayce still talks about seeing his Poppy fish the Christmas before he got sick -it's the little things in life that keeps him alive within us. 

Say a little prayer today for the Schwab Family.  Although we miss him dearly - I know we are extra blessed to have him as our special angel in Heaven!


Until Next time....

6 Years Old....

My babies turned 6!  It feels like just yesterday we were getting ready to head to the hospital!  I remember going to see my doctor the day before I was to be induced and he told me just go home and rest!  Yeah right - like that was going to happen!  I left there went shopping and had a pedicure!  I was one of those lucky ones and never had sickness during my pregnancy, but that night I was up sick to my stomach!  I know it was nerves and anxiety - I remember laying in the bath tub in the middle of the night just b/c that was the only place I could calm down!  The next day went as planned with no hiccups - it was a good day with lots of people around and plenty of eyes in the delivery room!  This is probably why my kids expect an audience for everything!  They came into the world with a delivery and waiting room full of people who were there for just them!

I thought I was okay until a few nights before when I started getting everything ready and checking my list twice!  Eric could tell something was wrong with me - he just let me walk around the house with no purpose - but then sat me down and asked what is up?  That man knows me and can read me like a book - so there is not lying to him!  He teased me like he always does and it did make me feel better.  But as I type this blog I have tears in my eyes!  It isn't that I am not happy they are getting bigger, I just miss the baby stages - I never thought I would, but I do. We joked when they turned 1 that we keep them alive one year -now they are just growing before my eyes into little people! 
Now here I am mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted from their birthday party this past weekend!  Having their parties on the same day is good for everyone invited - they only have to make one trip - but it is a huge project for me - but I wouldn't have it any other way :).  Because we don't have just one cake - we have two cakes, two tables, two themes, and house (this year a yard too) full of people!  I thought they would want separate parties this year - but when I said they could have 2 smaller parties - they nixed that and told me "NO Mom we want our BIG party!" And of course they got their BIG party; people were everywhere and they were smiles all day.  I actually made it through the singing of Happy Birthday (yes we sang it twice) without crying (which is the first time that has ever happened)!!  It may have had to do something with the burning of my finger from the lighter trying to light candles with wind blowing every which way - but none the less I didn't cry!

Regardless of how exhausted I am - I still would not trade it for anything in the world - the smile and flicker in their eyes makes it all worth while - I know they will remember this and always know that we did the best we could to make their day special! 

Until next time  keep praying and keep smiling...